Woman bans mother-in-law and brother-in-law from her home after a visit filled with insults and tears: ‘Spent the whole time insulting us, calling us fat, saying no one likes me, and that I’m going nowhere in life’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Feb 16, 2025 8:00 PM EST

There's a fine line between being a good host and being a human doormat, and hosting family has a way of blurring that line or better yet, erasing it completely. What should be a polite, maybe slightly awkward visit often devolves into a masterclass in boundary stomping, emotional sabotage, and the kind of bad behavior that makes you wonder whether sharing a last name is worth the grief.  

One couple learned this the hard way when the boyfriend's brother came to stay. At first, it seemed manageable, until the insults started flying. Not passive-aggressive jabs, either, but full-on verbal grenades about weight, personality, and life choices that left the host questioning why this person was even in their home. 

When the woman's boyfriend took his brother aside to smooth things over, his brother took that time to torch both of them even further, leaving emotional wreckage in his wake. And because no family drama is complete without reinforcements, his mom soon joined the chaos, making it clear she wasn't a fan of the host either. 

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  • "AITA for banning my partners mom and brother from staying with us again?"

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • After enduring this whirlwind of nastiness, the host put their foot down: no more open-door policy for these two. A bold move, sure, but sometimes the only way to protect your home—and your sanity—is by drawing a line in the sand and saying, “Enough.” Because while family might be forever, guest privileges are absolutely not.

  • My partner and I recently moved into my grandmother's property, which we're renting. We've been together for over four years, but I've never had a good relationship with his family despite trying. (His mom believes
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  • I took him from her...) His brother stayed with us for a week, and while things were fine at first, he and my boyfriend had a fight. When they went for a walk to talk it out, his brother spent the whole
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • time insulting both of us—calling us fat, saying no one likes me, and that I'm going nowhere in life. I was really upset and wanted him to leave. We compromised that he could stay another night if he stopped smoking wed in
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  • the apartment (something I had already asked multiple times). When I told him to leave his w d pen in the kitchen, he called his mom, and they both started raging at me-telling me
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  • they hate me and that I'm a terrible person. My boyfriend and I both ended up in tears. After that, I told my boyfriend I don't
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  • want his mom or brother staying with us again, and I'm done trying to build a relationship with them if they clearly don't like me. AITA?
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  • Any Comedian2468 Ummmm... the brother called you fat, fought with your boyfriend, insulted you, wouldn't stop smoking w d in your home, and then when you set a completely reasonable boundary he called his mom so she could berate you too?!!? NTA, at all.
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  • New-Credit-9661 NTA. Your house your rules. If you want him to stop smoking in the apartment he stop smoking in the apartment. You're also allowed to invite or disinvite whomever you like. So long as your boyfriend agrees.
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  • mumtaz2004 NTA! If you're soooooo awful, why would your boyfriends' brother want to stay in your place anyway? You shouldn't have to ask ever, at all, of a guest to not smoke in your house. Not once. Appropriate behavior of the GUEST is "Hey, I'd like to smoke
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  • XYZ. Is it alright to do it in the house or would you prefer I do it outside? Or in my car? The porch? How are you most comfortable? Or if you aren't at all comfortable with it, I'll wait til I leave-no issue!" And he had to call his MOM to complain??? Please, don't waste another nanosecond on this tool.
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  • hemlockangelina NTA- but you know this isn't going to get better, right? Unless your bf is willing to go no contact, it's always going to be like this with them.
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  • Shdfx1 NTA, of course. However, it's time for some very difficult decisions.
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  • Dating is like a long term job interview, to determine compatibility for either marriage or similar level commitment. (Unless you just want light hearted, non committed encounters.)
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  • His family won't change. The longer you're with this guy, the more attached you might become.
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  • You need to decide some things. Will you be happy having these people regular part of your life, if he wants to keep them around? Is he interested in boundaries or going LC?
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  • If he wants his family around, but can't or won't defend and protect you, then he might not be the one for you. It's a lot easier to deal with venomous in-laws when your mate stands up immediately to show them out.
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  • No_Bee_4979 YTA. I mean, you are being used while they talk bad about you. Why do you put up with it?
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  • If I were you, I would kick your boyfriend out for not standing up with you and defending you. You don't need a mommas boy, it will only end badly. You deserve better.
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  • Some people will always fins something to criticize.

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • KoomValleyEternal NTA. If BF thinks you should put up with ab e from his sh_family he is not a keeper.
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  • MmaRamotsweOS NTA They don't respect you, and in fact were extremely disrespectful to both you and your partner, therefore they do not deserve your hospitality.
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  • agathafletcher NTA but holy cr_p, your partner really needs to grow up and take a stand. Allowing his brother to stay after he insulted you both is just..weak. Wanting to still have them stay for visits, is pathetic. I'm
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  • sorry but if he can't stand up to his mommy and brother, when they berate you, is completely unacceptable. He is more afraid of his family than he is in love with you.
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family drama inheritance aita AITAH brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt sister fiancé grandmother Father
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